Crack for Toddlers

This past Christmas my sister, aka Aunt Bebby, really wanted to get Aiden one of those kiddie trampolines with the bars.  I was really excited about the prospect of the gift as a means for Aiden to burn off energy indoors during the winter months, but Dan, aka fun-killer, said “NO TRAMPOLINES” (and I literally made him say it like 50 times before I told my sister it was the final word).  Something about debilitating injuries or something of the like.  Whatever.  Fun-killer.

So then it became my responsibility to tell my sister what she should get Aiden.  I pointed her to the drum at Target with all of the musical instruments inside, and since she insisted it wasn’t enough, I suggested getting him a musical DVD to go along with it…you know something he could play his new instruments along to.  But that’s all I said.  And here’s what she bought:

Crack

At first we just thought it was a good selection because Aiden instantly identified Elmo on the cover (pretty sure babies are just born with the ability to identify Elmo), but boy we had no idea what we were dealing with.

It started as with any addiction. You’re just going to try it once.  You know, try it out.  You like the way it makes you feel so you decide you’ll do it again whenever the mood strikes you.  But you aren’t addicted.  You can stop whenever you want.

But gradually you stop wanting to do the things you normally enjoy doing, like going outside and eating dinner.  You come home from school, and without realizing it are standing in front of the TV pointing and crying and honking and dinging and wondering why mom and dad won’t just give you what you need.

Well simply put it’s because they’ve picked up on your little addiction and they are scared for you.  Scared that you’re going to stop using your words, choosing to communicate in only honks and dings and yips.  Scared that we may never get you to eat dinner again without a knock down, drag you away from the TV fight.

So we’ll keep a steady eye on your addiction and only enable you when you deserve it…or we just really need an uninterrupted 30 minutes.  We believe that you can be a functioning Sesame Street-aholic.  And I know I’ll secretly miss your enthusiasm when your buzz wears off.

Aiden Watching the Honkers and Dingers and Yippers and Elephants
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One Response to “Crack for Toddlers”

  1. Ayana Says:

    I might have to get this for Zekey!… or maybe I shouldn’t!

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